Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and you know what that means. You have to get Valentine’s Day cards for everyone in your class. EVERYONE! Even Hailey B. Mom explained to me that the school makes you give a card to everyone so that no one feels left out or unpopular. If you’re an 8-year-old boy like me, you’re probably not best friends with everyone in your class.

So, knowing what Valentine’s Day card to give to each person can be tricky. That’s why I put together some tips to help you out.

Valentine’s Day cards for your best friends.

This is where you can give exactly what you want. The card can say “best friends” without having to worry that suddenly this classmate will want to sit with you at lunch. I recommend a card that has someone cool on it that your friend likes. Spider-Man or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are always friend favorites. Also, make sure there’s a pun or play on words.

Valentine’s Day cards for kids that are okay, but who aren’t really friends.

Careful here. Stay away from words or phrases that could cause confusion. Words to avoid are “friends” and “like”. Instead look for cards that are vague and use words like, buddy, pal, or dude.

Valentine’s Day cards for kids that you don’t really like at all.

Just find a card with just a picture and no words on it. The picture doesn’t even have to be of something cool. You just have to technically give them something.

Valentine’s Day cards for girls in your class.

Just one rule here. Never get a card with the word “love” on it. You’re just asking to get chased at recess every day.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, Dude.

The Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture (Motion picture is just a fancy word for movie) goes to … Walter from Muppets Most Wanted.

Walter really deserves this award. While no other Muppet had any idea that Kermit had been kidnapped and replaced by the evil Constantine, Walter was always suspicious. He was also the first to realize that they needed to find and rescue Kermit in order to save all the Muppets. You can’t get more supportive than that.

The Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture goes to … Wyldstyle from The Lego Movie.

Wildstyle cared a lot for Emmet when she still believed he was a Master Builder.  Understandably, her support faltered as soon as word got out that Emmet was just an ordinary construction worker. But in the end, Wyldstyle came around to help Emmet defeat Lord Business and even picked him over Batman (!).

The Golden Globe for Best Original Song goes to … Everything is Awesome from The Lego Movie.

It’s really all right there in the name of the song.

The Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Motion Picture goes to … Baymax from Big Hero 6.

This is an easy pick for me. Baymax started out as an inflatable robot that really didn’t know anything. The first thing he learned was to take care of people. Even though he gained new armor and learned to fly, the first lesson he learned was always the most important. The only inflatable hero robot in a movie this year made him very hard to beat.

The Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Motion Picture goes to … the Mama Bear in Bears.

It’s hard to be a bear raising cubs in the wild. She does a great job protecting them and teaching them to fish. You almost forgot she was a real bear by the end of the movie. Mom reminded me when I asked for a baby bear as a pet.

The Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture goes to … How to Train Your Dragon 2.

Hiccup the Viking rides a flying dragon through the whole movie! A flying dragon! How could it not win?

Congratulations to all the Golden Globe winners!

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[Update: Dad just told me that cartoon characters, Lego people, bears, and Muppets can’t even be nominated. That is ridiculous! Join me in writing a letter of protest to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.]

Are you the Charlie in the box? Or the water pistol that shoots jelly? Take our Facebook Quiz “Which Toy are you from the Island of Misfit Toys?” to find out! http://woobox.com/m72uqg

The “Elf on the Shelf” is a very popular holiday tradition where your family “adopts” one of Santa’s elves. Your new family Elf’s job is to sit, watch your every move, fly back to the North Pole every night and give Santa a full report. All I have to say to my Elf on the Shelf is, “Mind your own business. No one likes a tattle tale.”

Every morning when the Elf returns from the North Pole he sits in a different spot in my house. He doesn’t even always sit on the shelf. Sometimes I find him in a chair, or on top of the refrigerator, and one time hiding in my closet probably trying to scare me. It’s like there are no rules with this guy. Hey Elf, your name is “Elf on the Shelf”, not “Elf Just Sit Wherever You like.”

The Elf is always smiling sweetly like he’s your friend. Don’t trust him! He just wants you to feel like you can do anything you want and he’s got your back. He does have your back…for stabbing you in it. This is all part of some big trap to get you on the naughty list.

If I happen to “accidentally” do something my parents mistakenly think is “bad,” they warn me that the Elf is watching and when Santa finds out that’s one less present for me. This season, by my parent’s count, I’m already down 4 presents. 4!!! And Christmas is still so far away. This Elf is going to ruin my holiday!

I tried giving him a sock, like Harry Potter did to free Dobby. It didn’t work. I tried locking him inside a cabinet. Next morning he was out and watching me again. I’m pretty sure he won’t flush. I don’t know what else to do. “You could just be good,” my dad said. There’s got to be another way!

While the kid’s table at Thanksgiving is the place to be, there are some dangers in sitting at a fold-out card table with kids probably pumped up on pie and Cool Whip. Who can forget the card table crash of 2012? Jennifer had outstayed her welcome at the kid’s table that year. She was a teen and everyone knows that 13 year old legs under a fold-out kid’s card table is a disaster waiting to happen. Jennifer may have gotten the big side of the wishbone, but I doubt she wished for the crash that soon followed.

To help you enjoy the best Thanksgiving possible at the kid’s table this year, here are a few tips:

• Cut your own food. You’re a kid, not a baby.
• Remember when passing food, some items may be hot or heavier than you think.
• Don’t feed the dog from the table. Mom says that she has a “stomach thing” right now.
• Don’t mention Frozen to Sophia.
• Don’t mention Minecraft to Ethan.
• No “My Little Ponies” on the table. Sorry, llittle sis.
• Don’t be a Jennifer and kick out the legs of the card table.
• If you see someone hiding their vegetables in their napkin, you keep it to yourself. What happens at the kid’s table, stays at the kids table.
• No parents allowed.

And last, but not least, be thankful you’re a kid.

Happy Thanksgiving!

3 Musketeers

You’re a middle of the road kinda person. You like to play it safe. You need to live more.

Raisins

You think you’re being healthy, but we’re thinking that next year you should just turn off the lights and pretend you’re not home. You’re wasting everybody’s time with raisins.

Candy Corn

Kids are split on this one. Some love it. Some think it’s gross. So this is a risky choice, but you didn’t pick it to be risky. You picked it because you have forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. You grew up too soon.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

You are a good person. You like kids and you are probably dressed up in a costume as you hand this candy out.

Pennies

You’re my grandmother.

Pop Rocks

You like to live on the edge. You’re a person of adventure. You probably like explosions.

Random jelly beans

C’mon. You’re no Easter Bunny. Try again next year.

Individual Starbursts

You and your friends don’t have kids, because you would know a mom would never let a candy with such a scrawny wrapper get through.

York Peppermint Patties

The candy’s cool, so you’re cool.

A full size Snickers

You are king or queen of Halloween. We will be telling everyone about that one house that gave out full size candy bars. You’re probably very smart and very attractive.

A toothbrush

You’re a dentist.

Happy Halloween! And PLEASE – NO RAISINS.

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Check out our Quizz: “Which Halloween Candy are you?”

Every night around 7:30 it’s the same routine. “Wyatt, it’s time to get ready for bed.” But I’m not ready for bed. Just because my parents are ready for their “quiet wine time” doesn’t mean that I am. I’m 8 years old. I have things to do. Do you think that the Lego Ninjago Ultra Sonic Raider vehicle just builds itself, mom? It doesn’t. It takes work and time, especially since I, as you say, “refuse” to read the instructions. Life doesn’t come with instructions, mom. I guess she’ll learn that when she’s older.

First I have to brush my teeth. I’ve only lost a couple of my baby teeth, so most of my teeth are going to fall out soon.  Sooo…why am I wasting all my time brushing them again? You other kids know what I mean, right? That’s 2 minutes every night that I won’t get back!

This next part is okay. It’s story time. We get a little further into Harry Potter every night, which is exciting, but my parents always stop too soon. Something big just happened to Harry and I’m expected to wait a whole day until I find out how it turns out?! What if my mom’s favorite show “Scandal” ended each episode like that? I bet she would hate it too.

My logical arguments against bed time never seem to make a difference with my parents:

I have important work to do.

“You can do it tomorrow.”

Why do I have to brush for 2 minutes?

“Because I said so.” (I get this one a lot, actually.)

What happens next?

“You’ll find out tomorrow night.”

Kids, there’s just no reasoning with parents some times. This struggle every night is exhausting and I wish I could just go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

We’ve all played hide-and-go-seek. You probably even think that you’re doing a good job. Maybe you are, but with these tips you will be able to take your hide-and-go-seek game to the next level. How do I know? I’ve been playing hide-and-go-seek since I could walk, so about 7 years.

I first became interested in the hide-and-go-seek game as a baby. I played a very early version of it that I like to call “peek-a-boo.” In this version your parents do most of the hiding. They are right in front of you and then boom, they’re gone. As fast as they disappeared, they’re back right where they were before. I remember thinking, “This game is amazing. Nothing can ever get better than this.” Little did I know that once I was walking the game would really change.

Here’s what you need to know to win at hide-and-go-seek:

When playing with parents:

• You actually have more time to hide than you think. Parents just pretend to count. And yes, that’s technically cheating, but use this to your advantage. Take your time.
• Skip the behind furniture hides and go for closets or behind doors for more full body coverage.
• When you are the seeker, first check for parents’ feet behind curtains. This is their go-to hiding spot every time.

When playing with friends:

• If it’s at your house, prepare hiding spots in advance. This is your home turf. Friends don’t know which closets are the best to hide in, but you do.
• Keep an eye out for peekers. 1 in 5 kids today is a peeker. Be alert.
• Use your parents. Tell them to tell your friends that you are in a completely different room than you are actually in. Some kids will believe anything an adult tells them.

When playing with your 6 year old sister:

• This one is foolproof. Hide under your own bed. She’s afraid to check under there because of the monsters. Also, make sure to tell her that there are monsters under your bed.

I hope you find these tips helpful in not getting found. And remember to just have fun out there.